The Elf, The Bunny & The Big Xmas Blowup - Scene 3
In honor of the holidays I’m going to post my play The Elf, The Bunny & The Big Xmas Blowup scene by scene, a couple new scenes every day right up until Christmas for your reading pleasure. Hope you dig it. For information and character breakdown on the play, go here.
Scene 3
(COMMERCIAL FADE IN.
SANTA appears with MRS. CLAUS, who is dressed in a sexy skimpy Christmas getup.)
SANTA: You know, I cover a lot of ground between now and Christmas Day.
MRS. CLAUS: He does!
SANTA: I go from North America to South America, slip over to Africa and Europe, run around Russia sharing Christmas joy and good cheer, skip over China, those Commie bastards may they burn in hell forever, then spend some quality time with our friends in Japan, make a brief stop in Australia and New Zealand, then it’s back home to the little woman waiting for me by the fire.
MRS. CLAUS: (squealing) Then we have our OWN Christmas party!
SANTA: That’s a lot of miles, a lot of time on the road. The Missus gets lonely without me by her side.
MRS. CLAUS: I do!
SANTA: So we spend a lot of time on the phone. A lot of time, racking up those long-distance calls. But I’m not worried! Because when I need to call home to make sure Mrs. Claus is behaving herself, I dial 10-10-821 and save a buck or two.
MRS. CLAUS: He does!
SANTA: With the holidays hard upon us, you may often find yourself having to call your whole family. So make Christmas a little easier on yourself and when you pick up that phone, dial 10-10-821.
MRS. CLAUS: Dial 10-10-821 and save a buck or two. The money you save could be your own!
SANTA: When you really have to make that call, dial 10-10-821 and save a buck or two. The more you save, the more you can spend on Christmas!
MRS. CLAUS: I just love a man with money on his mind!
(FADE OUT.)