The Elf, The Bunny & The Big Xmas Blowup - Scene 10
In honor of the holidays I’m going to post my play The Elf, The Bunny & The Big Xmas Blowup scene by scene, a couple new scenes every day right up until Christmas for your reading pleasure. Hope you dig it and keep in mind, it’s NSFW probably. For information and character breakdown on the play, go here.
Scene 10
(COMMERCIAL FACE IN.
MRS. CLAUS appears in her very own infomercial.)
MRS. CLAUS: Hello all you bad little boys, have you been naughty? I bet you have. You know, Santa isn’t the only person at Christmas that lets you sit on his knee. My name is Mrs. Santa Claus, and I am sitting and waiting by the phone, waiting to talk to you, talk to you about anything, ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING you wish you could have for Christmas. Have you been bad? I bet you have! Only Mrs. Claus can make everything right again for you little sinners. I’ll bend you over my knee and spank the dickens right out of you! Once the devil is out, well, we just won’t let him back in. Call now at my special number, 1-900-IMA-BADBOY and let’s let the holiday spirit warm our little britches, shall we? That’s 1-900-IMA-BADBOY, 1-900-IMA-BADBOY, and don’t forget, first time callers get a free copy of the Mrs. Claus Swimsuit calendar. Mmm, it is one Christmas treat you do not want to miss!
ANNOUNCER: (Voice-over) 1-900-IMA-BADBOY, That’s 1-900-IMA-BADBOY, Visa and MasterCard accepted.
MRS. CLAUS: Hurry boys. I’m making a list, checking it twice!