The Elf, The Bunny & The Big Xmas Blowup - Scene 12
In honor of the holidays I’m going to post my play The Elf, The Bunny & The Big Xmas Blowup scene by scene, a couple new scenes every day right up until Christmas for your reading pleasure. Hope you dig it and keep in mind, it’s NSFW probably. For information and character breakdown on the play, go here.
Scene 12
(BUNNY and WENDI walk along the road, holding out their thumbs to hitchhike.)
BUNNY: Don’t worry, somebody will give us a ride.
WENDI: Are you sure?
BUNNY: Absolutely. Who can resist a little girl and a bunny?
(A car whizzes by, honking and swearing. BUNNY jumps back behind WENDI.)
BUNNY: Of course, we could also circumvent the hitchhiking process by indulging in a little …
WENDI: No more Bunny pellets! They’re bad for you!
BUNNY: Good, bad, they’re relative terms, who can really say what good and bad is?
WENDI: My dad says I’m too old for any drugs except for maybe Ritalin.
BUNNY: Ah, Ritalin, I scored some of that once, me and Rudolf, his nose that night was flashing every color you could think of. Too bad about his O.D., he was one in a million.
WENDI: I must say, I’m seeing and hearing a lot of new things about Christmas and Santa Claus that I never expected. It’s all very disheartening.
BUNNY: Let me ask you something, Wendi with an ‘I’, just what is your favorite part of Christmas? Is it opening the presents and seeing all the toys you got?
WENDI: Of course! Who doesn’t love that the most about Christmas?
BUNNY: Okay then, ah … ahem. So … what’s your SECOND favorite part of Christmas?
WENDI: Umm. I guess it’s waking up on Christmas morning, not sure what has happened, but knowing that something magical and Christmas-y did happen. The magic. That’s my favorite part. The Christmas Magic.
BUNNY: Aha! That’s it! See Wendi with an ‘I’, that will never change. There will always be magic in the world, no matter how much they charge for toys and shoes and health care, it’s the one thing that will never change and they can never charge for. There will always be magic in the world. And bunnies, there’s always gonna be bunnies in the world.
WENDI: And why is that?
BUNNY: ‘Cause we keep things HOPPING! Hey look, here’s somebody, maybe they’ll give us a ride.
(A car honks as it whizzes by. A beer can is thrown at them. BUNNY jumps and hides behind WENDI.)
WENDI: Don’t worry, we’ll find a ride.
BUNNY: I have a confession to make, Wendi with an ‘I’. The freeway, the freeway really frightens me.
WENDI: How come?
BUNNY: In a word? Roadkill.
(BUNNY and WENDI walk off down the highway.)