Daily Dojo

This Just In…

The news of the day…

The NRA reverses its previous positions, comes out and baldly states that regulating firearms by requiring owner and operator licenses, safety tests and classes, background checks, will actually save thousands of lives and pledge to use their considerable clout to push the laws through Congress.

Congress finally agrees to chuck Obamacare but proposes to replace it with a single payer, Medicare for all program to insure each and every person in America gets healthcare… admitting that this will save a lot more money and lives in the long run.

At the same time, they admit that public servants such as school teachers, police officers and firefighters actually ARE a valuable part of our society and propose doubling the pay for each, especially teachers, and structure a benefits program that mirrors what each member of Congress gets..

And Congress decides to funnel more money into education and less into the pockets of defense contractors.

And pass laws requiring long, terrible criminal sentences for bank and securities fraud, sentences far worse than what drug dealers receive.

The Republican party admits that their party has been a haven for bigotry, ignorance and hate groups and proposes a zero tolerance policy toward those who champion bigotry, homophobia and intolerance. They tell Donald Trump if he has a problem with their position, he’s free to start his own political party of rich racist white guys, in the meantime, take that orange top and shove it right up his bigoted butt.

And the GOP admits that the government actually does quite a lot of things right (see firefighters, cops, teachers, etc), our government did put a man on the moon, after all, among other things. They realize taxes go to provide valuable services and protection for all citizens, and represent an investment in the future of our country.

Democrats grow a spine and actually champion laws that the majority of the country support (see above gun safety laws, single payer health care, better pay for teachers, etc) instead of simply grabbing the less offensive conservative policies and claiming them as their own (see Obamacare)… they also reverse the Patriot Act and champion free wi-fi for everyone in the country, to much acclaim.

George W. Bush and Dick Cheney (and their friends) are arrested for war crimes and shipped to Hague.

Media programs actually fact check their guests, and each other, live on the air. Blatant falsehoods (known in the industry as a “Romney” or “Romneys”) are not tolerated.

If only it wasn’t the first of April, right?

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