Daily Dojo

Paris Hilton’s UNSPECIFIED Medical Ailment . . .

Breaking News . . .

Paris Hilton was released from jail after only three days of confinement, as opposed to the twenty-three she was supposed to serve, due to an Unspecified Medical Ailment . . .

After intensive research and aggressive intelligence gathering, I’ve managed to discover just what the mystery ailment that freed her is:

Shitloads of money falling out her ass.

She had so much cash falling from her ass they simply couldn’t keep her in jail, lest she suffocate from indulgence.

In this country, where we have poor black pregnant women languishing in jail, they need to stay there, but wealthy white heiress’s bleeding dollar bills from their bungholes? Get ‘em out of jail and get ‘em out now . . . jail is for criminals, not rich white people who break the law.

Which is why some of the dipshit Republicans keep whining about Libby getting a pardon, because he ain’t a criminal, just a rich fuckhead who broke the law.

You read it here first, folks.

Postscript - ‘de Judge heard about her ailment and sent her cash-stuffed ass right back to jail. Let’s hear it for ‘da Judge.

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